![]() I don’t recommend waving this post in front of your partner with a, “See?! I TOLD you I’m working harder!” (That’s an important conversation to have, and I’ll offer some how-to suggestions in a minute.)įor now, I want you to know I see you, and you aren’t imagining things. Let me pause here to say this: I’m not trying to spark arguments about who has it worse. When only dad works outside the home, the distribution of household and child-related labor is even more unbalanced. In households where both parents work outside the home:Ħ1% of moms handle most of the household chores themselves.ĥ4% of moms manage their kids’ schedules and activities.ĥ5% of moms take charge of caring for sick kids.Ħ2% of moms take less than one hour for themselves every day. Most of the work falls on mothers, and research proves it. Parenting and the Gender Gapĭespite the strides our American society has made toward gender equality, there’s still a significant gap in how parents contribute to the household. In short, mothers tend to be the default parent. And if you worked outside the home before you had kids, you’re now expected to rearrange, reduce, or leave your position altogether to care for your family. Motivating older kids to do chores or homework.Īnd all of this is expected 24/7, 365, in sickness and in health. Research shows this part of the invisible load can be the most challenging for a parent’s mental and emotional state.Ĭomforting sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or hangry kids. Lastly, the emotional labor of motherhood is all about managing the other household members’-particularly your kiddos’-feelings. ![]() Researching the newest and best for all things sleep, nutrition, and development Maintaining a running list of where everything is all the time Making and attending doctor’s appointments Purchasing a gift for the neighbor kid’s birthday party next weekend Rotating clothes, shoes, and toys as things are outgrown This is the majority of the invisible load. Next is the mental labor, which includes planning and coordinating the day-to-day activities of the household. Preparing meals, which may or may not get eaten These tasks are more noticeable since they often produce direct, visual, consumable results.Ĭompleting household chores, from wiping the counters to deep cleaning the fridge The invisible load of motherhood describes the unnoticed and uncompensated physical, mental, and emotional labor completed behind the scenes to keep our households happy, healthy, and running smoothly.įirst, there’s the physical labor. ![]() We have eyes in the back of our head and a built-in GPS locator for just about everything in the house: the last clean pacifier, our partner’s keys, the dog’s favorite ball. As moms, we see all, hear all, and know all.
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